From Potato Patch to Puppy Chow: The Chaos of My Day Off

I took the day off today with grand ambitions: hit up a few businesses in Jefferson City, flash my most charming mom face, and beg for money to support Aiden’s football team. Easy enough, right?

Wrong.

Because life said, “LOL, nope.”

First curveball? Our dog, Gator. He’s been battling some health stuff for a few months now. At first, we thought it was just some gland issues (common in German Shepherds), but lately it’s turned into full-blown doggy drama. He’s been refusing his food, eating grass like a goat, then promptly throwing it up… all over our rugs. Oh, and he pees and poops at the same time. On the rug. Every. Day.

And now he’s stumbling. Like, literally losing his balance. He hasn’t eaten in over a week, so we’re hoping it’s just weakness and not something worse. I called the vet around 9am to get him some more ulcer meds—which actually helped his appetite last time—and to ask about the whole wobbly thing. They said they’d call me back. (Spoiler: they didn’t.)

Since the vet’s office is in the opposite direction of Jefferson City, I figured I’d wait around just in case they wanted him to come in. But I didn’t want to waste the whole day, so I loaded up the dogs and headed to the farm to see what damage I could do in the garden before it rained or turned into one of those “hotter-than-a-biscuit-in-a-skillet” kind of afternoons.

It was already pretty sticky out, so Roxy took cover under the Jeep and Gator wisely camped out under the trailer… and ate more grass (probably so he could puke it up on my rug). I, however, made the brilliant decision to take one look at the potato patch and say, “Yeah, I can handle this.”

Spoiler: It was a jungle. Even though we planted those taters in black plastic with neat little five-inch circles, it looked like the weeds decide they deserved more sunlight then the potatoes.

Side note I absolutely have to share:
Did you know potatoes grow berries? Actual little green fruit that look like baby tomatoes. I’ve been growing potatoes for years—had them in the garden as a kid, too—and somehow never knew this was a thing. So imagine my surprise when I spotted one and immediately thought, “Wait a minute… is that AI Facebook post coming true??”

You know the one I’m talking about—the viral photo with tomatoes growing on top and potatoes on the bottom like some weird Franken-plant. Obviously fake. I knew that. But in that moment, with my rogue tomato plants popping up from last year and this mysterious little berry staring at me from a potato vine… I had questions. For science.

Anyway. While I was having existential crises over AI hybrid vegetables, I also ran into two of my arch enemies: Japanese beetles and Colorado potato beetles. Just living their best lives, munching away like they paid rent. However, they were eating the weeds—which was interesting—so maybe they decided to be on my side this year.

I also had two rogue tomato plants from last year’s tomato crop decide to live through the winter, which is completely strange in Zone 6. They decided to set up camp in my potatoes.

Joke’s on them, though—because I’m pulling those potatoes next week and their all-you-can-eat buffet is about to get shut down.

So back to those weeds
Thankfully, I had a secret weapon that made it an easier job: black plastic and a 4am sprinkler schedule. The soil was soft and the weeds came out easy. And under those weeds? Potatoes. Growing on top of the ground. Can you believe that?

We gave those plants a good 10 inches of composted horse manure this year—tilled it in multiple times. They had every opportunity to dig deep, and they were like, “Nah, we’re just gonna sprawl out under this plastic. Thanks though.” Despite their laziness, they still produced. Most had three big ol’ spuds under them. I guess they like horse poop.

Tonight, I’m making fried taters and onions in some beef tallow I rendered a while back and keep forgetting exists in the cabinet. Let me tell you—they taste amazing. We also had oven-fried bacon and scrambled eggs (Aiden’s request, of course). But I’m getting ahead of myself. I am just really excited for garden fresh potatoes.

After slipping, sliding, and falling all over the mud-covered plastic like I was in Disney on Ice, I gathered up all the exposed potatoes before they could turn green. Don’t worry, the weeds had them well shaded up to this point. If there’s one thing weeds are good at, it’s blocking sunlight.

I also picked a couple dozen massive poblano peppers—because, if you’ve followed me for five minutes, you know I’m obsessed with poblanos. Half the cukes got quick pickled in the fridge, the other half are now on a gut-health journey in a fermentation jar. I’ll report back once they hit probiotic greatness.

After the cats convinced me it was time to feed them…they never forget to let us know… I loaded up the pups and we headed for home. Aiden called to let me know he was walking to the gym. I told him to wait—I’d take him up. Kid rarely misses a gym day. He’s got dreams: NFL first, bodybuilder second, pastor third. You know, the classic career ladder.

Once home, I took my second shower of the day (because mud), made myself a sliced chicken sandwich, and dove into testing my lemon blueberry cupcakes recipes. Soft, bakery-style cupcakes with a sweet-tart blueberry compote (made with frozen blueberries, sugar, a pinch of salt and vanilla, and a little lemon juice for brightness). Topped them with a whipped lemon cream icing. That stuff is magic. Addison, my cake decorator daughter, is at an all weekend barrel race so don’t judge my amateur icing job. I think the final product needs some lemon flavored course sugar sprinkle.

Then I made Gator a fresh batch of homemade dog food: ground turkey, sweet potatoes, white rice, and greens. He finally ate. First food in over a week. If Gator’s got homemade tastes, well, he fits right in around here.

And even though I didn’t step foot in a single business begging for football money, I gotta say—it was still a pretty great day. Any day I get to garden and cook—do all the things I love—is a win in my book.